


Live for Me

by margoxx12



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, start of a relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 17:52:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4715042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margoxx12/pseuds/margoxx12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tucker doesn't have a lot of faith after barely making it out of the confrontation with Felix alive. Washington corners him and asks what's up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Live for Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is set shortly after season 12, and before season 13.

Tucker missed training two days in a row, which was something you just didn’t do around Agent Washington, newly appointed hardass trainer of the Army of Chorus. Everyone heard the bitter tsk in Wash’s voice both days when Grif and Simmons reported that Tucker wasn’t seen at breakfast.

Today was the third day, and once again Tucker was absent from breakfast and training. Everyone said a silent prayer and decided one some good things to say about him for the funeral.

“Don’t cover for him,” Washington snapped, taking a threatening step towards Grif.

“We’re not!” Simmons insisted. “We tried to talk to him about it last night, but he shrugged us off!”

Washington sighed and shook his head, “Fine. I’ll deal with him later. Until then, gentlemen, two miles! Go!”

-

Washington had waited all day to intercept Tucker somewhere, but their paths never crossed. Resigning himself to the awkward bedroom chat he’d been avoiding, he headed to the living quarters after supper.

The truth was, Tucker had been acting strange since he’d gotten out of the hospital. More reserved, less joking. A few months ago, Washington would have thanked the heavens, but now he knew something was seriously wrong.

He stared at the door for a good minute before raising his hand to knock.

“Shit,” A voice down the hall yelped.

Washington dropped his hand in surprise, “Tucker?”

It was. He was in sweaty workout clothing, like he’d just gotten back from the gym.

The thing that stuck out most though, was his hair. Or lack thereof.

“Uh, hey, Wash,” Tucker said delicately. He moved carefully towards Wash, steadily avoiding eye contact.

“Tucker, your hair!” Washington was appalled.

Tucker’s hair was gone. Long brown and blue dreadlocks replaced by a military regulation cut.

“Yeah, I shaved it,” Tucker said lightly, moving past Wash to get to his door. “Thought you’d be happy of all people.”

“Why would I be happy?” Washington asked, still horrified. “You loved your hair! What’s gotten into you?”

The _I loved your hair,_ remained unspoken.

“What do you mean?” Tucker pushed the door open and stepped in, not holding it for Wash.

He really didn’t want to be having this conversation.

“Cut the shit,” Wash pushed in right after him. “You don’t show up for training, you shave your head, you seem to be actively avoiding me… and the others.”

“Sorry about missing training,” Tucker didn’t sound sorry. “I’ve been training alone.”

He gestured to his sweaty attire.

To put space between them, he went to the sink and removed his shirt. Underneath, a heavy layer of gauze still covered the healing wound in his side from Felix’s knife, but Washington could see hard and impressive muscles around it that he’d never noticed before.

He wouldn’t pretend that Tucker wasn’t an attractive man. Dark brown skin, some intimidating yet beautiful Sangheili tattoos roping around his shoulder blades and neck. Washington had never noticed the ones on his neck before- but with the new lack of Tucker’s locs, he saw them clearly. He quickly averted his eyes. He and Tucker were friends, but that was where it ended.

The captain pretended to be preoccupied washing his hands.

“You can talk to me,” Wash said quietly.

"The whole galaxy thinks we're dead," Tucker whispered, barely audible.

"What?"

“I just-” Tucker couldn’t finish. He sighed and collected his thoughts.

“We beat Felix and Locus," He said slowly. "But I almost died. I can’t stop thinking I might actually die here, and it’s like, I’ve got so much to die for, but what do I have to live for?”

Washington blinked. He opened his mouth, but Tucker continued.

“And I’ve been avoiding you because I don’t want… I don’t want it to hurt when I die,” Tucker’s fists were clenched, tattoos warping as his muscles tensed. “You heard Hardgrove! They declared war on us! Felix and Locus will be back, and we can only be lucky for so long.”

“Tucker-"

"Look, I'll be at training tomorrow if it makes you happy," Tucker cut him off and crossed the room, moving to pass Wash and get out.

Wash grabbed his arm, freezing him in tracks.

"Tucker, you can't think like that. You have so much to live for. What about your son? You've always seemed so proud of him!"

"They only let me write to him once a month," Tucker spat. "They don't want to contaminating their teachings with shit from the 'human perspective'. He probably doesn't even like me."

Washington had never considered this. Why _would_ they let Junior keep close contact with an alien?

He knew what he had to say, and it terrified him.

"Well..." Washington said slowly. "What about me?"

Tucker looked sharply at him, making eye contact for the first time, "What?"

"Well-" Wash broke the eye contact and dropped his hand. "Nevermind. The point is-"

Suddenly, he was slammed with some force into the wall behind him and Tucker's lips were on his.

Wash barely had time to absorb the electricity of the contact before Tucker pulled away sharply.

"Tucker, I-"

"I'm sorry," Tucker breathed, retreating and putting space between them again.

"Will you let me get one sentence in?" Wash felt his anger rising. "What was that?"

" _Stop_!" Tucker rounded on him, looking thoroughly embarrassed. "I love you, dude! But I won't become another name that keeps you up at night. I can't do that to you."

"That's not your decision!" Wash shouted.

"Yes it is!" Tucker was shouting too.

"You're not going to die," Washington took a step toward the other man, who made no movement. "You're better than that. You're _better_ than Felix. You won't be if you let yourself think we've already lost."

He closed the gap.

"And if you think you don't have anything to live for, you couldn't be more mistaken," He said. "Live for Blue Team. Live for your friends. Live knowing you're saving thousands of lives. Live... for me."

"Okay."

Finally, Tucker looked convinced. He took a deep breath and his muscles unclenched.

"But if you keep missing training, I will kill you," Wash said pointedly.

Suddenly Tucker blinked, and his frown was gone. Something Wash never understood him was how he could go from yelling to cracking jokes, which was exactly what he was doing now.

"You never mentioned you were gay," Tucker joked.

" _You_ never mentioned you were bi," Wash shot back.

"Okay," Tucker shook his head. "We can do this."

"I know."

"You're a great motivational speaker, by the way."

**Author's Note:**

> So true story, until about 3 days ago, Tuckington was a big notp of mine. Damn you, amazing talented artists of tumblr.


End file.
